Saturday, January 30, 2010



It's the start of the Spring semester and right now, i'm in the library in school doing some research for the article i'm writing on 'plaigerism' for my school's paper... I just wanted to take the time out to say hey to my readers... I made a resolution to not be a sporadic blogger this year and i'm gonna do evrything i can to keep it..


"Baby" i said gently.... " why didn't you call me yesterday? Not even one call through out the whole day?! what happened?"

In a tone that i was all too familiar with, he said in deep rich baritone "I'm sorry Baby.. I had such a busy day . I was gonna call you as soon as i got home but i was sooooooo exhausted when i got back from work that i just dived into bed without even bothering to change"

I was quiet for a while as a myraid of thoughts were running through my mind.... By all indications, his excuses did seem quite genuine but how long was he gonna keep giving them?

We've been dating for five months and i can count how many times i've seen him cos he's always busy!! He's working two jobs and he's trying to get his MBA at the same time... His life is so choked up, it seems like he hardly has time for himself not to talk of me... or at least, that what he makes it look like..

We are at a point where making out time to see me is definitely not on his priority list. We live in the same state, but we see once in two weeks, if at all.
He tells me to be patient and that one day, all that is going to end. He would say things all the time about caring so much about me and missing me a lot but if he really did, wouldn't he wanna make time for me in his 'busy' life? Ultimately, actions speak louder than words and what I want to know is why? Why would he say things like this, but not even try to see me regularly?

Is he really busy or he's just not that into me... I wonder.. If he's so busy that he can't see me, then why did i see a tagged picture of him on facebook last weekend at a friend's graduation party? I thought he didn't have time for social events? Or the time that i called him that friday night when he was supposed to be stuck working late at the office and I could hear music in the background.

'Oh i see!! it turned out that you didn't have to work late anymore and u were gonna call me but as soon as you got home, your friends called and 'pressurized' u into going to have a couple of drinks huh? and you reluctantly obliged because it had been forever since u hung out with 'the guys' and u were gonna come see me but you were so wasted that it was all you could do not to pass out on your drive back home... ' Really? That's it? Can't you come up with something better like i didn't feel like seeing you and i lied about working late before i decided to spend the night with someone else...

See, what i don't get is why it's so hard for some guys and women to just come clean abt their feelings...If you're tired of a relationship, then why don't you save yourself the hassle by telling your significant other just that??.. You'd be free then to do whatever you want wouldn't u? I dunno, maybe it's bcos i'm such a blatantly honest person that doesn't like stress... if i feel like i'm not into someone, then i'll look for subtle ways to break it to him and save myself the stress of explaining why i'm so aloof these days, or why i don't call anymore, or i haven't made efforts to see him...

My Friends swear i'm being paranoid. pointing out that every time i've tried to leave, he keeps pulling me back and makes 'an effort' to change... but why should it have to be 'an effort?' shouldn't it come naturally? If you care abt someone then wouldn't u wanna be around them or call just to hear their voice... Life isn't that hard is it? hmmm i just can't figure men out... We truly are from different planets!!


Everyone who knows me, knows that i loooooooooooooooooooooove wale and i was so excited when i came across this song that he did for his Nigerian people... It features Bonnie Mack's (sierra leonne)- My sweetie...

I love the lyrics... had me LOL'ing especially when he tried to speak Yoruba

'Mix my Guinness with a doctor pepper.
She's so ibo, she's so sweet, shorty feed my ego
If your last name got thirteen letters, this is for you
Make my jollof with lots of pepper'


Mariam Makeba's Pata Pata, was recently used for a honda commercial and it was soo great to see that even if she's gone, (RIP) her music, still lives on... I looooove that song. I've performed it with my band countless times... If you wanna watch the commercial, click here

I gotta go now, coming back soon i promise... Love u loadz!!!

Later luvs...Kisses!!



really like that Wale song and have been listening to it for a while. It would be nice if they made a vid for it.

Off to see the Honda commercial

Hoping all is well with you!

Myne Whitman said...

Your guy sounds liek he's really busy and you didn't say if YOU made any attempts to go see him? Why do guys have to do ALL the work? I also sense the excuses are a bit much but do your own bit before making a judgment call. Take some of the slack for him, call more often, go over to see him, etc etc. I hope it works out for you guys.

I love My sweetie and cos of that I can overlook the Wale rap. Sorry it's not Wales, I'm not just a rap fan. I actually thought Bonnie Mack was Nigerian?

Ok let me go see the ad. Take care

RocNaija said...

Still sitting on the fence with regards the iPad.. But then I've never really been an early adopter.
Always too expensive at this stage. :(

So I know this is probably redundant, but when he doesn't call you, do you call him?

Sting said...

I would say trust ur instincts esp if u have caught him in a lie. However, i'm not saying u should dump him or that he's just not that into u cos i can't really tell. You should try to make concrete plans to see him and see how amenable he is to ur suggestions.

Rene said...

I loove the iPad and I'm so getting it.
About the "baby I'm busy" dude, give him his space, if he really wants to be with u, he'll come around

doll said...

no one is ever too busy for the one they care about! even if he cant see you, he should call.

That said, you too make efforts, call when he doesn't, tc

Anonymous said...

No, (he) is not too busy. We are NEVER to busy for what (and or who) we consider of great worth. We simply cannot be too busy for them.

"...his excuses did seem quite genuine..." just might be better than to go the route of defending the seeming indefensible. too, am busy.

Rayo said...

Here's the thing - we always, ALWAYS make time for the important things in our lives. If he is too busy to call you, then you are not that high up on his list of priorities.

BSNC said...

awww babe it is well, okay :)

bob-ij said...

This was a nice long post! I loved it. I know what you mean. I am Miss Paranoia. I would read so much meaning into it! I'll be furious and dump his ass. Then again, I am famous for overreacting so i can't offer advice. What do YOU think you should do?

Wale is so cool tho! I cosign!


mizchif said...

Well, i believe you must have evaluated the situation fairly before putting up this post at east with regards to the level of effort you are making inthe relationship.

That said, truth is if he's not making time for you, he's really not that into you. Men and women may never fully understand each other, but some things are basic, you make time for who/what you like. SIMPLE.

Fashinga said...

Thanks for the comments luvs... Deeply appreciated!!


Atl'sFinest said...

Girl your blog is great! I love it! I hope your friend Mike got sorted out. Trust me I feel you on the man tip, I hope your man came to his senses and started acting right. Sometimes what we humans do, especially when we are really into someone is that we lose track of ourselves because we get so caught up with all of the "nice things" that they do instead of focusing on the reality of the situation. I'm not saying your man is shady or anything, but I'm saying that if someone really really wants to be with you, then it's never a problem for them to make an effort with you. It actually flows naturally. At the end of the day, you really need to trust your gut instinct and believe that the truth about everything will eventually come out.