Wednesday, April 7, 2010


Aunt Christa went in to study nursing in the university....somewhere along the line, she met a man who later became her husband... Physically, he wasn't an attractive man but when asked by her close friend's and immediate family, she maintained that his personality was what mattered.. Besides, she said... 'He is also a doctor and we're in the same field'

Christa went along to marry this man and together, they built an empire.... He managed to establish a hospital in a remote village in Delta state Nigeria. Prior to this, residents of this village would have to travel far to the city to get medical attention but now,the whole village came to him instead.. he became nothing short of a messiah....

With the tremendous success of the hospital, he began opening branches in different rural neighborhoods for people who couldn't afford to travel long distances to go to hospitals in the city.... Eventually and over a period of time, he and his wife had managed to open several hospitals and pharmacies all over southern Nigeria... They were wealthy!!

Of course!! as is synonymous to the African culture, the husband took on the responsibility of seeing some of Aunt Christa's family member's through school... He even offered jobs to most of them in some of his numerous hospitals and pharmacies. A huge part of her family which had come from abject poverty now depended on Christa and her husband for their welfare...

Many years had passed and their marriage had produced two lovely kids...Then Christa decided to bring home her 18 year old niece from the village to train in school and help around the house as well...
Yes!! Yes!! You guessed right!! no surprise when our dear 'Unattractive but wealthy Doctor husband' started sleeping with this girl and he was at it for a while too before they got caught...
Now, how the cat was let out of the bag, i have no idea, but what i do know is that a lot of mayhem erupted from this shameless act.. The family was greatly disappointed and enraged at their son-in-law who had 'taken advantage of' and slept with Christa's NIECE!!!!

They called family meetings and repeatedly rebuked him for his actions.. Finally, the reaction we've all been waiting for... Christa's husband became angry and demanded some respect from her 'ungrateful' family members.. He would not take their insults anymore and as a matter of fact, was ready to MARRY the niece as a second wife if it was such a big deal...

WHAT??!! Christa couldn't believe her ears and neither could the members of her family who vehemently refused that he marry the little girl..

When it became apparent that they weren't going to give him their 'blessings', he went ahead to marry her anyway without their consent..At this point, the hurt and angry Christa who would not be a 'fellow wife' to ANYONE...especially not her own niece, decided to pack her things and leave...
Things went downhill from then on..

The 'husband' stopped paying the fees for her family member's whom he'd been training and he also fired each and every one of them from the job's he'd given them. He withdrew all favours and completely turned his back on Christa and all of her family..

Christa was completely helpless..No home, no money, no job...Nothing!!'s true that she and her husband had both worked for everything he owned but that didn't change the fact that she knew little about all the documents to the Properties, Cars etc which were all in his name by the way... She didn't even have a bank account of her own because she'd believed that since they were husband and wife, then they were one and as such should operate a joint account...

Now, she had access to NOTHING at all.... where would she start from?? Where??? after all these years???


Three years has passed since that incident and Christa as well as her ever supportive family are knocking on our dear husband's door and begging him to 'forgive her for leaving' and take her back. The suffering has been over-bearing and she has had to swallow her pride with a big glass of water...

Aunt Christa is my dad's Friend's cousin. (Hope I'm not confusing you) He told me this story yesterday and what immediately came to my mind was the thought that the importance of female empowerment cannot be stressed enough... If i was her,I'd be damned if I'd ever go back begging... I'd rather die than beg that fool after everything he did... but that's what Christa is doing right now and lets face it, so many factors are against her... Age, the ever deteriorating economy of Nigeria and most importantly, the will to start over..

We as women should learn from the mistakes of people like Aunt Christa.... we should learn to empower ourselves financially so that in the face of an event like this, we wouldn't be helpless.

It's not surprising how most women who even have jobs don't really have anything to show for it except a nice wardrobe, car and fancy things.Don't leave the money making decisions to your man to decide neither should you depend solely on him to survive..Anything can happen... Divorce, or even death of a spouse and then where does that leave you? and your kids if any?

For those of us who aren't married, the same thing applies to us. Even though we have boyfriend's that are willing to take care of us, we should be able to stand on our own two feet and be independent.
I know a girl who didn't wanna leave her boyfriend after all his physical abuse, cheating and ill-treatment, just because she depended on him for a lot of things... Money-wise i mean.

If men can do it, why can't we?? #Food for thought

Later Luvs...Kisses!!

Saturday, January 30, 2010



It's the start of the Spring semester and right now, i'm in the library in school doing some research for the article i'm writing on 'plaigerism' for my school's paper... I just wanted to take the time out to say hey to my readers... I made a resolution to not be a sporadic blogger this year and i'm gonna do evrything i can to keep it..


"Baby" i said gently.... " why didn't you call me yesterday? Not even one call through out the whole day?! what happened?"

In a tone that i was all too familiar with, he said in deep rich baritone "I'm sorry Baby.. I had such a busy day . I was gonna call you as soon as i got home but i was sooooooo exhausted when i got back from work that i just dived into bed without even bothering to change"

I was quiet for a while as a myraid of thoughts were running through my mind.... By all indications, his excuses did seem quite genuine but how long was he gonna keep giving them?

We've been dating for five months and i can count how many times i've seen him cos he's always busy!! He's working two jobs and he's trying to get his MBA at the same time... His life is so choked up, it seems like he hardly has time for himself not to talk of me... or at least, that what he makes it look like..

We are at a point where making out time to see me is definitely not on his priority list. We live in the same state, but we see once in two weeks, if at all.
He tells me to be patient and that one day, all that is going to end. He would say things all the time about caring so much about me and missing me a lot but if he really did, wouldn't he wanna make time for me in his 'busy' life? Ultimately, actions speak louder than words and what I want to know is why? Why would he say things like this, but not even try to see me regularly?

Is he really busy or he's just not that into me... I wonder.. If he's so busy that he can't see me, then why did i see a tagged picture of him on facebook last weekend at a friend's graduation party? I thought he didn't have time for social events? Or the time that i called him that friday night when he was supposed to be stuck working late at the office and I could hear music in the background.

'Oh i see!! it turned out that you didn't have to work late anymore and u were gonna call me but as soon as you got home, your friends called and 'pressurized' u into going to have a couple of drinks huh? and you reluctantly obliged because it had been forever since u hung out with 'the guys' and u were gonna come see me but you were so wasted that it was all you could do not to pass out on your drive back home... ' Really? That's it? Can't you come up with something better like i didn't feel like seeing you and i lied about working late before i decided to spend the night with someone else...

See, what i don't get is why it's so hard for some guys and women to just come clean abt their feelings...If you're tired of a relationship, then why don't you save yourself the hassle by telling your significant other just that??.. You'd be free then to do whatever you want wouldn't u? I dunno, maybe it's bcos i'm such a blatantly honest person that doesn't like stress... if i feel like i'm not into someone, then i'll look for subtle ways to break it to him and save myself the stress of explaining why i'm so aloof these days, or why i don't call anymore, or i haven't made efforts to see him...

My Friends swear i'm being paranoid. pointing out that every time i've tried to leave, he keeps pulling me back and makes 'an effort' to change... but why should it have to be 'an effort?' shouldn't it come naturally? If you care abt someone then wouldn't u wanna be around them or call just to hear their voice... Life isn't that hard is it? hmmm i just can't figure men out... We truly are from different planets!!


Everyone who knows me, knows that i loooooooooooooooooooooove wale and i was so excited when i came across this song that he did for his Nigerian people... It features Bonnie Mack's (sierra leonne)- My sweetie...

I love the lyrics... had me LOL'ing especially when he tried to speak Yoruba

'Mix my Guinness with a doctor pepper.
She's so ibo, she's so sweet, shorty feed my ego
If your last name got thirteen letters, this is for you
Make my jollof with lots of pepper'


Mariam Makeba's Pata Pata, was recently used for a honda commercial and it was soo great to see that even if she's gone, (RIP) her music, still lives on... I looooove that song. I've performed it with my band countless times... If you wanna watch the commercial, click here

I gotta go now, coming back soon i promise... Love u loadz!!!

Later luvs...Kisses!!