Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus..

GOOD INTENTIONS ARE NOT ENOUGH

Falling in love is always magical. It feels eternal, as if love will last forever. We naively believe that somehow we are exempt from the problems our parents had, free from the odds that love will die, assured that it is meant to be and that we are destined to live happily ever after.

But as the magic recedes and daily life takes over, it emerges that men continue to expect women to think and react like men, and women expect men to feel and behave like women. Without a clear awareness of our differences, we do not take the time to understand and respect each other. We become demanding, resentful, judgmental, and intolerant.

With the best and most loving intentions, love continues to die. Somehow the problems creep in. The resentments build. Communication breaks down. Mistrust increases. Rejection and repression result. The magic of love is lost.


A while ago, i read a great book called "Men are from mars, women are from Venus(or vice/versa)" and a few days ago, i was reminiscing on the confrontational moments i had with my Ex. The days when we used to argue over the silliest things.



REMEMBERING OUR DIFFERENCES (excerpt)

"Without the awareness that we are supposed to be different, men and women are at odds with each other. We usually become angry or frustrated with the opposite sex because we have forgotten this important truth. We expect the opposite sex to be more like ourselves. We desire them to "want what we want" and "feel the way we feel."

We mistakenly assume that if our partners love us they will react and behave in certain ways-the ways we react and behave when we love someone. This attitude sets us up to be disappointed again and again and prevents us from taking the necessary time to communicate lovingly about our differences.

Men mistakenly expect women to think, communicate, and react the way men do; women mistakenly expect men to feel, communicate, and respond the way women do. We have forgotten that men and women are supposed to be different. As a result our relationships are filled with unnecessary friction and conflict.

Clearly recognizing and respecting these differences dramatically reduce confusion when dealing with the opposite sex. When you remember that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, everything can be explained."


I have been trying for so long to figure men out. why they do certain things they do, how they feel about certain things we( women) do. This book gave me a little insight and i could completely empathize with the context of its content.

There are times when i would do things for my man and hope that he sees that the reason i'm doing them is because i care.
I expect some sort of acknowledgment of the efforts i'm making to keep him happy..when he doesnt reciprocate, i relentlessly keep up. hoping that one day, he'll see all the things i do for him. It gets to a point where i begin to feel unapreciated and frustrated. i can suddenly not take it anymore and my pent up antipation becomes aggresion, im thinking "he just doesnt care about me".

You see, maybe he does care, he just may be oblivious to the things the woman wants & or needs. This leads the woman to think that the man is excedingly selfish when all along SHE was doing these things for him hoping to ellicit some sort of return.....he did not ask her to do them. The man thinks that the woman has suddenly changed & become a bitch cuz she now no longer does these things with a smile, if at all. The woman gets fed up doing things for a man that does not appreciate her.

i think it all boils down to the fact that perhaps I am not speaking a language which he can understand, nor is he speaking mine. This is not to say our miscommunication is one or another's fault, we just need to try to figure out each other's language.

Sometimes, we all forget just how different we are. We expect him know exactly how we feel and he us..... This "magic" between 'us' is something i dont know if i'll ever be able to comprehend..

i might not be back soon cos i've got a lot of things on my to-do list but i hope this post has been insightful to some of you.. Be sure to share your thoughts on what you think..

Later luvs...Kisses!!!!
F.

Its been a while...

My countiry pipo!! How una dey? i dey girit oh!! lol...i'm at the computer Lab in skul and i have a very huge textbook in front of me because i'm supposed to be studying for a test right now but i have'nt blogged in so long and i couldnt help myself..i just opened my homework in another window jo!!

It's been what..three weeks?? Anyway, i've missed blogging and all the wonderful bloggers in blogsville.. For the past hour,i've been going from blog to blog just trying to catch up on what i've missed.

You see, i already started this post a week ago but for some reason, i wasnt able to complete it so i saved it as a draft.




I was gonna talk about how Feb 14 was going to be like for me,but Valentine has come and gone already.just like that.. to some of you, it was probably a wonderfully romantic day but to some of us who are currently single, it was just another saturday. I did my laundry, cooked, and after that,i read a good romance novel. There!! i've said it. Dont lie, some of you had a worse day. lol

On sunday, the day after valentine, i went to church with my Uncle and through out the service, the pastor just kept preaching about love and marriage. Infact, he started giving us gist of what he and his "beauriful" wife did on Valentine's day.. Me i was just like, Hmmm Na wa for this man oh, make we hear word jo. You and your honey did this. You and your sweerat did that. So the rest of us who didnt have anyone to spend the day with should go and jump in river niger abi. Hiss..
Father please forgive me for hissing at a man of God.

Anyway, that wasnt even the worst part. When i got home, Uncle E called me and said he wanted to talk to me. Wondering what it could possibly be about, i sat down on the couch next to him.

"Fashingaa are you okay?" he asked

"Yes i am..why?"

"It's just that you've been moody since yesterday. is there any problem? you know you can talk to me"

At this point, i was like moody ke. This dude was obviously getting wrong signals. " There's no problem. I'm fine"

"if you insist you're fine then ok."

I sat there for another two minutes waiting for him to continue with what he wanted to talk to me about but when he wasnt saying anything else, i realized that he was done. He stands up, goes into his room and emerges a few minutes later all dressed up.

"Are you going out?" i asked

" Go get dressed. we're going out." Awoo..just like that?? whats up with this dude.

"Where are we going to?"

"Consider this a date. i'm taking you out. I noticed you didnt go anywhere yesterday. so i figured we could just go somewhere and chill"

Chei!!!!!!!! i don suffer..My Uncle was feeling sorry for me..Oh my God! i have suffered indeed. lol

Meanwhile, my friend came to visit last night, telling me that he'd had a serious accident and his car was in really bad shape. He narrated the story of how the other car which was much bigger than his, had hit him from behind with such a force that almost toppled his car over.
I was so thankful that he wasnt injured and nothing had happened to him.. But my dear friend wasnt even thinking about that. The dude, on the contrary, was elated.

"My dear, you dont know how happy i am. Right now, im seeing a doctor and a therapist"

Me i was just staring at him with my mouth open wide. This bobo can't be serious o. He had been wanting to change his car for sometime now and this was the perfect oppurtunity for him to do that without spending a dime of his hard earned money.

Yeepa!! how can somebody be this happy after surviving an accident like that? Only in Yankee i say. Instead of my guy to go to church and thank Baba God that he escaped the car crash without a scratch on his body, the Bobo was calculating how much his insurance company was going to pay him. He was even claiming a chronic back and waist pain that he didnt even have..Wonders shall never end.

His reply? "My dear, the economy is bad. You have to be wise, to survive"

Are you kidding me? point taken. My next move? I plan to slip and fall when coming out the elevator of my college and sue them for all they're worth. Lets just hope, i dont actually break my neck in the process.

I missed you guys menn!!!!!!!!! see you soon..

Later luvs..kisses!!!