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Wednesday, November 18, 2009

MY EPIPHANY...

I had had a long and tiring day. It was the 26th of December in Port-Harcourt Nigeria...
We had a party that day every year to mark two occasions;my younger sister's birthday, and Christmas..
As always, i welcomed that day with mixed feelings..

EXCITEMENT; Because it was always so much fun,lots of food and drinks,friends,family and my parents were always in a good mood..

DREAD: Because of the enormous amount of work we had to do in preparation for the party...All the cooking( I was always the one in charge of scaling and cleaning the fish..ugh!! I hated that with all my heart but it wasn't exactly as if i had a choice) Worse still, the part i dreaded the most, was cleaning up after everyone had gone. Stacking up the party chairs, picking up bottles and plates littered all over the garden, and the grand finale WASHING THE DISHES!!! Once again, i usually was the one given the job of washing the plates and THE POTS( Must i remind you how hard it was with all the charcoal from cooking with firewood...)
When i asked my mum why we had to cook with firewood,(because honestly, i thought only village women cooked with firewood)she answered that since we were cooking in large quantities with such big pots, it would be impossible to cook in the kitchen plus "The smoke from the firewood enters the food and gives it a special flavor" she said...

Anyway, at about 1:21 am, i was done washing up and i went to bed exhausted...I woke up a few minutes later to the sound of a door slamming..Alarmed, i tried to get up and see what it was but to my dismay,i found out that i couldn't move..My hands, legs, mouth, head, every part of my body was non-responsive.I started panicking and since i didn't know what else to do, i started praying and calling the name of Jesus over and over again until after a while it released me. Long after that alarming incidence, i was still awake and i couldn't summon the courage to go back to bed.

" My dear... I think you've been watching too much home videos... I knew it!! All these Nigerian movies are not healthy for you...all they talk about is witches and wizards and now, you've started having hallucinations that are a spin off from what you watch... I've told you always to..."

"Mummy!!!!!" I screamed impatiently, getting frustrated from all her rantings...the woman didn't seem to believe what i was saying "I was not hallucinating ok? Neither was i dreaming... I swear, the first thing i saw, was a bright light and i heard a door slamming. after that, i couldn't move!! I'm scared cos what happened to me, had an evil aura about it"

Following that, was an uncontrollable bout of laughter from my mum.... she apparently thought that my brain had gone into overdrive and i had started imagining things...My Mum didn't believe in witchcraft or demons and i knew right then and there that i had wasted my time telling her...

In search for answers, i related the same story to my aunt who was far more helpful than my mum...
" Fashinga, i know exactly what you're talking about because i have first hand experience... It's been happening to me for ten years now and the only thing you can do is prayer, prayer and more prayer... What you experienced is a demon sitting on you..."

My eyes widened when i heard this and she continued.. " Yes, when you sleep in a certain way, the demon comes and sits on your back, so you can't move.. It is called oppression by the devil. Whenever something good is about to happen in your life, he sends his agents to come and take away all your riches, take your destiny and he gives you bad luck...that is why you have to pray and fight it whenever it comes your way. "

After that day, "the devil" kept "sitting on my back" very frequently...i was scared to fall asleep and i was slowly starting to lose my mind...At some point, my aunt took me to her church for deliverance....this, she said, would drive the devil away.
I would never forget that experience in my life.. I felt like one of those people who were possesed by demons...why else would i be going for DELIVERANCE?. didn't that mean casting out demons?
Anyhoo, after the session, it stopped coming and i was able to sleep well for about 6 months but alas, "The devil" returned...

Somewhere along the line, i got tired of it and accepted it as part of me, my remedy? simple....when "The devil" came, i would struggle with it for a while,bind and cast him away,clutch my bible and go back to sleep.

I've lived like this for 8 years now until last week,when i made a shocking discovery. I was browsing through google when i stumbled on a heading 'Sleep paralysis'. i thought that sounded interesting so i clicked on the link.. what i found out is too voluminous to put down here...

There are millions of people all over the world who have been experiencing the same thing that i've been experiencing for 8 years of my life now.. most of the experiences differ slightly but we have one thing in common...The fact that when it happens, you can't move....you are completely paralysed!!

People from various cultures have different beliefs: My aunt called it oppresion by the devil, some people say that when you go to bed, your spirit leaves your body and when you wake up, because your spirit hasn't returened yet, you can't move...some people say it's a demonic visitation.. Others call it alien abduction and so on and so forth...

'Ignorance is a disease' was the phrase that came to my mind when i was reading about this medical condition called 'Sleep paralysis'.

"Sleep paralysis occurs when the brain awakes from a REM state, but the body paralysis persists. This leaves the person fully conscious, but unable to move. The paralysis can last from several seconds to several minutes "after which the individual may experience panic symptoms and the realization that the distorted perceptions were false"

If you wanna find out more about this, click here

All these years, i have lived in ignorance!! Believing that the devil has been sitting on me... The truama i went through, thinking i was one of the few people in the world who experience this....I was even scared to tell any of my friends so they won't think i have spiritual problems... I decided to share this discovery with you guys for some of you who have been experiencing this but have never really gotten answers... until last week, i was also ignorant... some of you might have heard of this, some might have not but for those of you who are experiencing this or know people who are, i would love to hear your stories...

In the light of other news, my luvs... I know i have'nt been here for a while now, and sooooooo much has happened in my life for such a short period of time... lots of gist coming your way....trust me!! *wink* lol....


I missed you guys loadzzzzzz..........kisses luvs!!

F.